What Can You Do about Helping When Your Senior Doesn’t Want Help?

As your senior parent’s caregiver, you’re the one most likely to step in and offer her assistance. But if she’s not excited about having your help, you might find that the two of you argue about what the right answer is for her.

Try to Connect with Her about What’s Going On

If you and your elderly family member have had a difficult relationship, being her caregiver may be a little bit difficult, too. Try to connect with her about what you see happening and what she sees from her perspective. Your goals and wishes may be far more aligned than either of you realize, which might mean that you simply need to work out the details a little more efficiently.

Try to Find a Compromise That Works for You Both

Look for a way to meet each other in the middle, especially if your goals are far apart right now. It’s entirely possible that your senior has difficulty accepting help from you for reasons that have nothing to do with you. If you’re each willing to give a little bit, you may find that it’s easier to get to a compromise that works for everyone involved.

Look for Other Answers

Besides compromises, your elderly family member may be more open to other answers entirely. If she’s reluctant to accept help from you, it’s possible you might be able to bring in elder care providers to help your senior to feel more comfortable and to get the help she needs. If she’s got concerns about her independence, you might make a deal that she’ll ask for help and that you’ll honor that request.

You May Need to Let it Go

An answer you may not like is that you might have to back off for a bit. Your elderly family member may become incredibly resistant to the idea of help and that’s something you want to avoid. If you keep trying to force the issue, it can all get much worse. Take some time away from the conversation and keep a watchful eye on the situation. If her condition worsens or if she acknowledges that she does need more help, you can always step back in.

Being a caregiver isn’t always a cut and dry situation. Sometimes you’ll know your elderly family member needs more help, but she’s just not open to the idea herself. there’s a lot of patience involved in getting her what she needs, when she needs it.