If your senior parent is living on their own, you’re probably worried about them slipping and falling, having an accident, or not being able to keep up with household tasks. But your parent may be resistant to the idea of getting help.
It’s very common for seniors who want to live independently to say they don’t need or want help. Typically, it’s because they’re afraid that they will lose their independence if they admit needing help.
If you have tried to talk to your parent about getting help and they are not willing to talk about it, you can use these tips to start a conversation about elder care.
What Is Elder Care?
Before you talk to your parent about elder care, make sure you understand what it is. Elder care is a service for seniors. A trained and experienced care provider will visit your parent on a set schedule to help them with household chores, shopping, laundry, errands, and more. Elder care is designed to help seniors keep their independence.
It’s a good idea to have some information about elder care and what care providers do so that you can show your senior parent the benefits. You should also do these things to make the conversation more productive:
Choose the Right Time and Place
Don’t bring it up when your parent is stressed, tired, or in a rush. Choose a calm, quiet time when you can talk without distractions. It’s best to have the conversation at home or another place where they feel safe and comfortable. You want them to feel relaxed, not ambushed or pressured.
Many seniors are the most alert and focused from about mid-morning to mid-afternoon, so that would be the best time to talk about elder care.
Focus on Safety and Health
Instead of saying what they can’t do anymore, talk about how elder care can help keep them safe and healthy. For example, you can say, “I worry about you slipping in the shower,” or “I noticed the kitchen is getting harder for you to manage.” Make it clear that this is about caring, not controlling. Show them you want what’s best for their well-being.
Listen to Their Concerns
Your parent might be afraid, angry, or just unsure about letting someone new into their life. Let them talk. Ask open-ended questions like, “What worries you most about getting help at home?” and really listen to their answers. Don’t interrupt or try to “win” the conversation. Sometimes, just being heard makes someone more open to change.
If your parent is afraid of losing their independence, reassure them that that you don’t want them to move. Let them know that you want them to have elder care so that they can continue living at home, but safely.
Start Small
You don’t have to jump into full-time elder care. Start with having a care provider come a couple of days each week to help with things like cleaning, cooking meals, or driving them to doctor’s appointment. This helps your parent ease into the idea. Once they see how helpful it is, they may be more willing to accept more care later on.
Talk About Independence, Not Loss
Imagine how it must feel for your senior parent to be in a position where they can’t do tasks they’ve done their whole lives. Think about how hard it is for them to not be able to make their own bed, or cook their favorite food without help.
Many seniors fear losing control of their lives. Explain that getting help doesn’t mean giving up their freedom. In fact, it can help them stay in their home longer and do more of what they enjoy.
If you or an aging loved one is considering elder care in Clayton, CA, please contact the caring staff at Golden Heart Senior Care of Walnut Creek. (925) 203-3039.
